


Somewhere along the way (I lost)

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom!Harry, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Self-Harm, Lots of Crying, M/M, Smut, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 06:59:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3682428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry gets out of a bad relationship and things are difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere along the way (I lost)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brendonboydburie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brendonboydburie/gifts).



> brendonboydburie - I hope you like this! I'm not going to tell you I enjoyed writing this because it breaks my heart to even think of the boys hurting in such a way, but it made me feel things to write this for you.
> 
> Everyone else - This is a tale of ten parts and an epilogue READ THE TAGS PLEASE. The writing style is minimalist but there are some serious issues still implied. So. Protect yourselves, love.
> 
> Enjoy!

1.

Louis Tomlinson feels sick to his stomach.

Harry is cuddled up in a ball, curled into himself underneath his bed covers and sobbing into his pillows. “Please don’t tell anyone, Lou. Please,” he begs.

His fingers are itching for his mobile. To call the number he had on speed dial ever since she joked that Louis was basically her son anyway.

She’d be devastated.

Louis is devastated.

“How long?” His voice cracks when he asks. Harry flinches at it.

“Please?” Harry asks again. His sobs are getting louder and more uncontrollable judging by how hard Harry is shaking.

Louis has to force himself to calm down and run a soothing hand through Harry’s greasy hair. He honestly hasn’t seen Harry since the break-up. Suspects no one else has either. Didn’t really see Harry while he was dating the bloke in the first place.

He’s upset that he didn’t recognize what was going on sooner.

The reason why he’s even here now seems to trivial. Harry had borrowed a maroon, low-cut shirt from him ages ago and he felt like wearing it to their next concert. Plus, now that Harry had officially ended things with James, he didn’t feel so weird coming over and asking for it.

He surprised Harry with his visit too. He used a forgotten key to get in.

Louis lets Harry have a moment while he thinks, eyes catching on a pile of glass bottles in the corner.

It smells here. A mixture of crusted food, aged alcohol, and curdling rot. It’s the smell that usually accompanies unkempt and unhygienic persons, Louis thinks. But it hurts more remembering Harry’s habit of burning sweet-smelling candles he has stored in the corner of every room. He can’t find a hint of any candle here.

It’s unreal and Louis wants to wake up. Now, would be good.

Five minutes later when he discovers that all of this is too real, Louis removes his hand from where it was comforting Harry and leaves the room. Muttered sobs of protest echo after him and hit him straight in his heart.

The back of his eyes are itchy and irritable. Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever feel well again.

Harry’s bathroom is much like the rest of his flat. Strange body products litter the corners of the shelving and he ignores them in favour of pulling out the brightest, happiest looking bottle. It’s strawberry vanilla bubblebath and that settles it for Louis. Almost semi-consciously, he fills the dirty porcelain tub with pink bubbles and runs the water at a temperature closer to scalding than not.

When the bath is settled, he returns to Harry’s room to find the bloke choking off his screams with the juncture of his arm. Louis doesn’t realise he, himself, is crying until his tears clutter his vision.

“Harry, come on, love. ‘ve got a bath drawn for you,” Louis tells the boy.

Harry blinks up in surprise, shaking in a body that is vastly unfamiliar to Louis. “Lou?” he croaks.

Louis nods, more tears gathering in his eyes as he helps Harry up and out of his bed. He pulls the body of his best mate close to himself, stopping in their progression to the bathroom to soothe him every time he sniffles.

When they reach the bathroom, Harry’s lip hint at a smile at the overwhelming sweet smells and soft-looking bubbles.

Louis stays when Harry undresses and slowly lowers himself into the bath. He stays as Harry takes a flannel and washes the blood off his arms. He stays when Harry hums happily to himself and stretches his lengthy body from the tips of his fingers to his toes to engulf himself underneath the water. He stays when Harry empties the bath, but stays naked in the tub, crying silently to himself.

Louis leaves when Harry dries himself off with a fluffy, white towel and only because the bruises on his chest look old.

He calls Harry’s mother the second he gets in his car. He doesn’t mention the razors or even the speckles of purples and blacks that adorn the entirety of her son’s body. What he tells her is that Harry is sad over the break-up and needs a mother touch.

It isn’t a lie.

2.

Louis drags himself out of his bed the next day and makes a trip to the shops. He fills two grocery carts full of all things pretty and sweet. Lotions, foods, candles, and even a handful of make-up. When he pays, he takes it to Harry’s flat and knocks this time.

Harry answers and doesn’t say anything when Louis nudges past him and into the flat. They don’t talk at all when Louis starts to throw away everything disgusting and sour or even when he lights up five different candles in the front room.

As he gathers his things to leave, Louis cradles Harry into his chest and places a tentative kiss to his sweaty curls.

3.

“I can’t believe you told my mother,” Louis hears the next morning.

He’s still in his bed and staring at his ceiling, willing for a hinting of sleep to take him away to a place that is less horrible.

“She’s crying, Lou. She wasn’t supposed to find out,” Harry continues.

Louis clutches the phone closer to his ear.

It hurts when Harry says, “You promised you wouldn’t. I can’t believe...I sort of hate you right now.”

The line cuts out a second later.

Louis wishes he could sleep.

4.

The other lads find out the night after their first concert. It’s somber affair and they all huddle close to Harry when he’s done with his story. Louis looks on and plays with the bottom of his shirt.

Harry hasn’t even looked at him since the phone call. That hurts more than the sentiment.

Eventually, the five of them pile back into their vans and are driven to the hotel. Liam suggests they share a room tonight. Nearly everyone agrees while Louis stays silent.

His fears are confirmed when they get to the hotel and Harry pulls him aside to ask if he will stay away for the night. Some flimsy excuse of how they all couldn’t fit into the two beds like they haven’t done it before.

Louis agrees and watches Harry get absorbed back into the group of the other boys.

He doesn’t sleep.

5.

It carries on that way, Harry blocking Louis out of his life until their tenth concert. He’s woken up from a restless nap by a worried looking Zayn and is guided to Harry’s bunk in the bus.

“Lou?” a low voice whimpers and Louis doesn’t hesitate to crawl in and pull the broken boy into his arms.

Harry cries apologises and clutches onto Louis’s shoulders. He shushes them away.

They fall asleep and Louis wakes up the next morning, eyes no longer itchy.

6.

“He hit me,” Harry whispers sometime in the middle of tour.

It’s just the two of them, the other boys having left to get snacks.

“Whenever we fought about things, he’d smack my chest. Sometimes he would punch. He’d apology and tell me sometimes he can’t control his anger but he loved me.”

Louis pulls Harry into his chest and lets the boy cry.

7.

Niall is the one who asks.

“Do you think Harry will be okay?” he whispers in the van. Harry’s fallen asleep in Liam’s arms and is snuffling quietly to himself.

No one has the answer, but Louis tries.

“I think he’s trying.”

8.

“Louis, find Harry, would you? He wanted me to do his bun tonight,” Lou Teasdale asks him.

Louis shrugs from where he was playing on his phone and wanders around the back of the stage until he hears soft sobs. He finds Harry behind the soundboard in an empty room.

He wraps his arms around the boy and listens while Harry confesses, “I don’t think he ever loved me.”

Louis pulls away and places three, soft kisses to Harry’s left temple while he gathers his thoughts.

Still, he doesn’t have a response to that and Harry doesn’t look like he’s waiting for Louis to say anything. Instead, he gets up from his spot and cuddles back into Louis’s chest.

“I beginning to think that I don’t care.”

9.

Harry kisses him softly on his lips the night before their break. Louis reciprocates.

It’s the start of something.

10.

Harry Styles has always been magnetic. He’s the type of person that can hide in the background one second and draw people in with a smile the next. It’s his kindness, Louis supposes. The lad apologises to dogs when he trips over them. But also, more recently, he’s discovered that Harry is gorgeous. Somewhere in his mind he’s always thought that, but it’s now that he’s allowed himself to really think over it.

Louis believed the kiss to be a fluke. A reaction to Harry’s feeling the effects of a hero syndrome. So the few weeks spent apart Louis used to regroup his thoughts and prepare for the inevitable rejection.

He wasn’t expecting to be pounced on the second Harry saw him again.

“Lou,” he giggles while smacking kisses all over Louis’s face and neck.

Louis is too surprised to do much more than stand there and take it.

“Missed you,” a whisper is placed like a secret against his collarbones.

“You do?” Louis responds, rather surprised.

Harry pulls back with a laugh and rolls his eyes at Louis’s surprised expression. “Rather a lot, actually. Got used to you drooling on my back.”

An idea, a hinting of a thing that has been growing in his chest, hits Louis. He pulls Harry by his cheeks in and snogs the living daylights out of him.

“Let me take you out to dinner?” he asks between exchanged kisses.

“Please,” Harry agrees.

(11) - Epilogue

It’s three in the morning and Louis is woken up from a wonderful dream only to realise he wasn’t just imagining Harry’s lips around his cock.

“Baby,” he moans and rubs the soft curls around Harry’s ears in his hands.

He’s fisting the base of Louis’s cock and rolling his tongue up and down the shaft. Louis sees stars.

“Good morning, please fuck me,” Harry croaks in his rough morning and cock voice when he pulls off.

Louis shrugs and attempts a put upon sigh at the suggestion. The flush in his cheeks give him away and Harry giggles at his theatrics.

As he grabs for the lube and condom underneath their shared bed, Harry rolls on his stomach and wiggles his arse at Louis. He finds himself laughing at this whole thing, he’s just so in love with his boy.

“You loose from last night?” Louis asks while he rolls the condom on his cock.

Harry grunts and wiggles his arse more. Louis laughs and smacks it lightly.

It gets more serious when he nudges at Harry’s hole and takes his time in filling it. Harry pants underneath him, trying to keep his body relaxed. Louis smooths a hand up and down his back when he starts rolling his hips in and out to the sounds of soft whimpers.

“I was having a dream exactly like this,” he comments on a particularly hard thrust. “Only you were dressed in a skirt and trying to eat me.”

Harry looks over his shoulder and regards Louis with _a look_. Louis shrugs and thrusts a few times to get Harry to focus at the task at hand. It works and he can feel Harry’s toes curling underneath his calves.

He’s getting close when he catches the sight of Harry’s arms. Small, light scars still trace at the soft skin and they somber Louis into slowing down his fucking. Ignoring Harry’s protests, Louis pulls out of his boy and crawls up to place kisses on the skin.

Harry hums a sigh and runs a hand through Louis’s hair up until he pulls away. Then Harry’s is pushing on his chest his lying on his back, a lap full of pretty, smiling boy.

“Love you,” Harry comments while he positions his hole above Louis’s cock and slowly lowers himself down.

He tries riding Louis until his thighs are shaking and Louis takes control, holding Harry’s soft love handles and fucks up into his tight heat. Louis comes first with a shout and pushes Harry off and onto his stomach a second time. He fucks his pretty boy’s hole with his tongue until he’s weeping.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Rimming is my new favourite thing.


End file.
